The Last Mile
My last drink, at the last bar
I write this almost two weeks after safely arriving back home in Los Angeles (and am publishing it over a month later), and it still feels surreal that I completed this journey. Spending a month on the road was hard and exhausting and exhilarating and liberating. I traveled to places I’ve never been, slept on couches and in truck stops, and met people from all over the country, some of whom I’ve even run into since.
I don’t have a pithy wrap-up, a lesson learned. I have my own story and observations, my own experiences. I am thinking a lot about what the future of this project holds: a book, a Master’s thesis, an art exhibition. I am taking lots of time to rest and relax and enjoy being in LA once more. The lessons I’ve learned are sitting with me and the ripples of the project will follow me for life.
There were articles that were harder to write than others, controversies and bad blood that I’m still not sure how to talk about. When there are so few of these spaces left, every misstep and bad action is magnified and examined by thousands of onlookers. The fear of our own spaces not being safe for us is powerful and real. We must demand better of those who would try to push our concerns aside, but we also must create the space to have those conversations, and if we can’t, determine real action to enact change.
I have also met some truly wonderful individuals, and drank so many light beers I think I may have convinced myself I actually like them. I was met over and over again with love and excitement and joy. Everyone I have told about this project is equally shocked by the shrinking number of Lesbian bars as I was when I first found out. I have become even more inspired about what I want my own eventual bar to look and feel like. I have taken note of everything I’ve loved on my travels (unique bathrooms, outdoor patios covered in fairy lights, pool tables, walls more covered by photos and art than wall) and of everything that I want to improve on (a lack of queers in queer spaces, racism and transphobia, overpriced Red Bull cocktails.)
A selfie on the last day of my drive, in Big Sur, CA
Every single person I have told about this trip has asked me the same question: which bar was my favorite? And truthfully, I don’t have a favorite. But I will give you a top 5, in no particular order, along with a collection of tallies of my observations and experiences. I’m someone who likes looking at data and summarizing through the use of arbitrary numbers, assigning meaning to things because I want to. Take what you want from this.
Zoo’s Top 5 Lesbian Bars, In No Particular Order
The Cubbyhole, NYC- Cubby was loud and joyous and packed to the brim. I met interesting people who wanted to talk just because, danced with strangers, and felt the history of New York City.
Slammers, Columbus, OH- Slammers was my ideal neighborhood bar, full of people on dates, meeting with friends, or just there to watch the game. The space was warm and vibrant, with plenty of room for everyone. Plus, who doesn’t love a good pizza and beer combo?
Nobody’s Darling, Chicago, IL- Nobody’s Darling is one of the newer bars on the list, Black woman-owned and operated. Not only was this bar inclusive as a rule, but it felt comfortable and relaxed, while still serving upscale, James Beard-nominated cocktails.
Herz, Mobile, AL- An unassuming Southern bar, brimming with Southern hospitality. Herz was far and away the most personally welcoming bar I went to, at least three different people checked in on me and chatted with me, simply because I came alone and they didn’t already know me.
Blush & Blu, Denver, CO- My favorite of the western bars, I was immediately welcomed by the owner and struck by the overall community feel of the space. Regulars mingle and play pool, and there is room for everyone and everything.
Honorable Mention:
As You Are, Washington, DC- Not a Lesbian bar, but one of my all-time favorite bar experiences. The owners were warm and welcoming, the crowd was so diverse it put every other bar to shame, and the energy was joyful and celebratory to its core.
A Collection of Tallies
The Details
Hours Spent In My Car: 196 hours and 58 minutes
Miles Driven: 9,292.2
Days on The Road: 29
Bars Visited: 25
Hotels: 7
Couches/Spare Rooms: 10
Truck Stops: 6
Campsites: 2
The Spaces:
Karaoke Nights Attended: 5
Drag Shows: 3
“Don’t Do Coke in the Bathroom” signs: 6
“Welcome Home” signs: 3
Neon Signs, generally: countless
Drinks: 54
Narangansett:1
Allagash White:1
Miller Lite: 11
Dyke Beer: 1
Shot of Jameson: 1
Bell’s: 1
PBR: 9
Blue Moon: 2
Old Fashioned: 1
Martini: 1
Shot of Eagle Rare: 1
Maker’s Mark, neat: 2
Corona: 4
Shot of Jack Daniel’s: 1
Modelo: 2
Party Shots: 2
Hopadillo: 1
Pacifico: 2
Gin and Tonic: 1
Jager Shots: 2
7&7: 1
Negroni Spagliato: 1
Fernet: 2
Miller Highlife: 2
Macallan: 1
Clothes and Accessories of Patrons
Carabiners: 8
Short-Sleeved Button Downs: infinite
Flannels: 40
Denim Jackets: 26
Leather Jackets: 15
Thick Black Glasses: 14
Crop Tops: 10
Cowgirl Attire: 16
Baseball Caps: 16
Fashion Sweaters: 15
Blazers: 4
Body Chains: 2
Gold Frame Glasses: 5
Rainbow Tees: 6
Messiness
Makeouts Spotted: 6
Drinks Spilled: 3
Stevie Nicks Impressions: 3
Silly Dares: 7
Inside Smokers: 10
Criers: 2
If you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written on this journey, feel free to let me know, send this to a friend, embark on your own pilgrimage. Visit all the Lesbian bars, or all the queer bars, or just take a road trip and write about it, even if you don’t do anything with it. This road trip has given me back a love of writing I thought I had forgotten, and though I am not one for sentimentality, maybe you can find something you had almost lost too. Or maybe you’ll just go on a road trip and have a good time, and that’s just as beautiful.
Los Angeles, CA
